So tell me again..
What do you gain exactly by making me feel the way I do now?
I never knew you to be sadistic.
Then again..I guess I never really knew anyone.
Always beaten down by the ones I love.
Forever downtrodden by my own comrades.
I'm warning you now
I have been saying this for some time now
I seriously need a break from your kind
I used to be so happy,and I had so much to be happy for..
Now there is nothing to be happy about..
Yet I get real and I get on with life..but for heaven's sake
HAVE A FUCKING HEART!
There are things that I am trying to battle
There are new routes I'm trying to pursue
I'm tired of everyone using me as a leaning post
Then running away or not being free when I am down
Yes I am sensitive!
It's a trait which I do not show out but
I'm super sensitive to the way people talk
Young or old..it gets to me easily
and yes I do bear grudges.
Why shouldn't I?
I have gained nothing from being forgiving.
I'm trying to fill my mind with good things..
Trying to build a bridge over troubled waters
I am not asking for any help
Honestly I have said this before..no need
Just let me have some peace
When I do say something or talk about stuff that makes me happy,be a liar and agree.
Don't cut me off or brush me off or rudely point out your jarring criticisms or just plain show me that you aint bothered..because it hurts.Especially when I'm sharing about something that means so much to me.Anyways it's ok..I won't do any of that anymore.Not worth sharing my precious knowledge with people who are just shallow & fickle minded.
You know this thing will just go on and on..
I'm stopping here..
I know some people are not gonna be happy about this post
I really don't care what you feel anymore,you know?
I have been listening to my traitor heart for so long..
It's only now that my long buried brain is slowly reviving
With it comes the desire & thirst to show people like you..
who I really am.
This time with my mind.No longer shall the heart rule.
and yeah Glash..I know what you're gonna ask me
this doesn't mean I'm crazy or losing it..
it simply means that I am dying inside
& this is the time for me to rescue myself.
I can't show it out..but I'm bleeding inside every single day
It has been the worst year ever..I have lost alot of happiness
Alot.
Nothing can ever make me feel the way I did ever again
Then again..this is enough to make me grow up a bit more.
Have a good Sunday.
This is me,Patricia