It's harder than I imagined it would be
After all..have I not endured greater trials than these & stood up victorious?
Now I'm 27..definitely I'm stronger than before..right?
Apparently not.
I never thought that a small argument would blow into such a huge matter
I know there were things I never should have said in the first place but
Have you stopped to think..why I would have ever said them in the first place?
You used to.
You were always the calmer,logical one between us.
In a way..it was your total calmness that drove me mad at times.
Your lack of reaction..made me wanna do something,anything just to get you to talk
Even then,I felt guilty
This time you were not prepared to accept my apology
The coldness that you showed to the world,this time you showed to me
It hurt..it hurt like hell but somehow I just thought it would just pass us by
After all..we been through so much..this was nothing
We spoke..but like friends.
Cool..and with an edge of underlying tension
I was never forgiven.
It killed me.
The loneliness drove me almost insane
With no one to share my burden,I spent the weeks in pure frustration
I tried not to tell you that I missed you..
I tried not to tell you that with you gone,I have forgotten what it's like to dream & hope
It's been months now..
I feel your loathing towards me
It killed me to know that someone who once cared so much about me
Could suddenly not care at all
There were more problems.More fights.More volatile words hurled.
To think that all the times of happiness could be overshadowed by a small incident
I feel pain,pain so much pain because it's so unfair
Everything I did,I did it for us
I can't cry anymore it hurts that bad
I really can't bear to listen to everyone else's words of comfort
All I want is at least a shadow of your old self back
Why do you not see,that you have completely gone into the darkness now?
Please..please think carefully
This is not who you are.
This is me,Patricia