Profile
Entries
Links
Tag
This is url@blogspot.com
This is me,Patricia
Welcome to my blog
Be nice & I'll be nicer
I bite bitches
Have a glorious day
hey.how ya guys been..i know..i been rather quiet recentlyrecieved alot of emails after my abrupt post on Mondaythanks people..im fine..so don't worry about me ok?wel on monday i had a tiff with someone close to mewhat started out as a normal tiff in the morning soon escalated & turned horridyeah i did shed alot of tears im not ashamed to say that well..sometimes we all need to get it out of our system right...as it is,i had been bottling up alot of feelings over the past couple of monthsi stayed up that night trying to contact this person just to try to talk..Unfortunately even though i tried..it was fruitless..there was simply no reply to my calls the next day,i hoped things would go betterhowever when there was no response from that person the anger in me took over the remorse & sadnessi felt bitter & hurt i went out to do some shopping hoping to distract myselfby the time the person did sms me..i was on defensive modewhich didnt do any good to the misunderstanding we already hadby night..things had gone quite nastyno matter how much we talked it out..there was no compromisetuesday night..a night i'd never forgetangry words & accusations were hurledthe situation was beyond rescue at that point of time it's the night i decided that in order to have peace againi had to sacrifice some thingsmaybe to some people its nothing much.to me however it was a bitter,heart aching decisionGod was really testing meAfter a long time..I had to make a heart wrenching decisionthat would change my life as i had known it to be for the past couple of happy years..what actually went on is very personal and i can't talk about it bcoz i respect the privacy of that personthat night i died a thousand timesyes i was at fault too..for in those final desperate moments of getting my point thru,and failing..i had resorted to hurtful words which i had never thot i would use on this particular person!my rage was such...and of course..that person responded equally venomouslythe anger was so great that we could barely talk in proper tones to each otheri spent that night in tears..and even messaged the person coz after the rage had died down,i was shocked at the words I had flung recklesslywell the rest i don't really wanna explain now..i don't wish to think about itthings aren't the samefor the sake of that person..and for the sake of my dear friends who had been worried about me..i tried to be back to my old selfi had spent the past few days walking about in zombie stylenot talking much and sleeping aloti was exhausted to the maxto all who were there for me..thank u so much..even though you guys didnt know what the hell was going on,u consoled me and encouraged me.the classic rock songs that i had been blasting into my ears day and nightkept me going tooi have been putting up a brave front so far..i hope i have the strength to carry on inside though..i keep dying again and againi just can't take it.simply can't accept it.i have gone thru several episodes in my lifewhen i had fallen off the right trackand yet those times,thru the tearsi promised myself that I was not beaten just yet.Now..my spirit is just not accepting what has suddenly happened i feel like there is no turning back from this blacknessyes..i cant show it out to people but im empty insidenothing you say will ever take away the acheAu revoir
