Ended up going to church.
Yeah but with a very heavy heart.
Of al the days no one was able to make it,and I thought I had to go alone
Met up with cousin Eve..and we went together.
Ok I totally regret dissing God in my earlier post..coz the Mass today was extremely significant.
Everything was beautiful.
During the Novena,though somehow as Father was going into the Benediction,
to my horror great big teardrops hit the book I was holding.
I didn't know why my hands were trembling..I guess I was extremely wound up & on the verge of my breaking point..but oh man..NOT IN PUBLIC?!!
Of all the times..during the very solemn Benediction?
I saw the kid infront of me stare at me with mouth open in wonder...
i managed to calm myself before the kid pointed me out to her Dad
& dedicated the rest of the evening to celebrate Mass.
Walked home with Eve..
Why why why can't I be like before?
She was talking about her problems & I just listened dumbly
I'm going mad..i really am.
The people around me are too absorbed in their own lives..i guess I'd really go bonkers before they realize anything!!
Back home..the scenario is anything but pleasant.
The parents had a mini squabble after Easter..and to this day are giving each other the cold shoulder.
So basically no one talks much at home.
I'm so pathetic.
I'm actually writing all this out on a public blog..
Exposing myself for some crocodiles to attack..
Ah!!!
Who cares who cares..
Nobody cares when your down and out..
Nobody.
This is me,Patricia