POSITIVE.positive.positive.POSITIVE.
I'm starting to lose grip of that word
Just for once I'd like to stamp my feet,cover my ears & SCREEEEEECH at the top of my voice
How much is a person to bear when its so obvious that NOTHING is going on SMOOTH?
I did promise myself to be patient
To think before I rant
To remember mistakes of the past when words were spoken in haste
BUT
I'm only human
I have feelings too
Sometimes I do feel hurt just that I choose to laugh it off
Yesterday was such a day
There was a minor dispute at home between the parents
I kept out of it coz really..its none of my business
I must admit though that the torrent of words hurled at each other was getting on my nerves
It would have taken me just under a minute to get in there and yell at both of them to shut the f**k up
I didn't
I just concentrated on the show I was watching
Later at night I thought about some other stuff
I could feel the lump in my throat
Only I know how much confusion & pain I'm enduring
Not everything can be shared in public
As I lay down staring up at the full moon
I consoled myself
Yet,
To my horror & self disgust
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes
Damn
Betrayed by my heart
I brushed aside the angry tears & closed my eyes
How long more?
I dunno if I can continue being this patient.
I don't wanna be a jolly good woman on the outside
Only to be a dried up bitter waste on the inside
This is me,Patricia